Jane Barbone

home | archives Tortured Souls Society Saturday, May 31, 2008 It is the middle of 2008. When did that happen? Ok, I've joined faceplate or facespace or friendface or whatever you kids are calling the latest networking page, only at the urging of my adorable friends Raquel & Nicole. Everyone should have friends that good looking. I can’t believe this page has not been edited since '05. Wow, has it been that long since the ragtop was totaled & I decided to join the ranks of the working class? I suspect it has. Oy. After all that has transpired the past 10 yrs., my friend is committing her 20 y/o daughter this wknd. Very sad. She is such a talented writer. I can’t believe she is 20 already. How old does that make me? AH, yeaz, time; that again. I hope she gets the help she needs. She really could add some amazing value to this world. How do you tell a 20 something that? Or was it just me that was crazy hard headed in my 20’s & 30’s & even now. hmmm It is summer/winter in the City…San Francisco. I have a hard time making peace with this thief that is the weather here in the summer. While everyone else is buying cute clothes & open toed shoes & getting pedicures, I’m looking for summery looking clothes that will keep me warm & hoping any one of the 50+ pairs of sox are not dry rotted. Nick called me from Minnesota last night. I love to hear from my comedy friends. It’s so rare. I watched Last Comic Standing Thursday night. It was good to see Chris Voth get some air time. He is such a talented unique comedic writer. I always liked him. When I met him, he seemed down to earth and not so competitive. But then he is a comic & I didn’t know him that well. Comedians always remind me of the Island of Misfit Toys from Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. Need I say more? Last night I saw the movie, “Atonement”. Now the itty bitty shitty committee in my head has an accent & I want to listen to opera. Funny how life & words always seem more dramatic with an accent. “Don’t you think? Jolly good. I think I’ll don a jumper to warm myself up a bit.” .: posted by Jane Barbone 10:05 AM Monday, March 12, 2007 http://tv.msn.com/tv/article.aspx?news=254664>1=7703& Ok, my heart is really sad now. I liked Richard Jeni so much. Kelly Hunt & I went to see him in Vegas back in (geez) '94?. He was so great. Then we hovered around the casino until he noticed us & we spoke with him for a while. For sure a tortured soul. http://tv.msn.com/tv/article.aspx?news=254664>1=7703& Labels: Richard Jeni-RIP .: posted by Jane Barbone 10:37 AM Sunday, March 11, 2007 Anybody else hate the Shane Co. commercials on the radio? Or wait, I'm the only person left on the planet who listens to radio. Yahoo claims it's 73 degrees outside. I should do Reiki again. & maybe comedy. WORK is a 4 letter word. Guess I best squeeze into a pair of sweats & venture out into the world once this wknd. I want my hour back. Daylight savings time. The way I write is the way I speak so if you're thinking ADD, you're not very far off. But let's not send that out to the Universe. Why do I always buy salad makings & toss them 2 weeks later? Why do I get off the bus 18 blocks from my stop for exercise & then buy a burrito on the way home? Why are my feet & face cold all the time? Why do wknds go by so fast & the work week drags on forever? Why do I get excited about learning something new & just as quickly become uninterested? Why do I have to spend the rest of my life in pain b/c of the now 3 bulging discs in my neck & be expected to be nice to people? Why does pain have to accompany exercise? I love to exercise-I hate the pain after. I also hate that I now have a work clothes wardrobe from size 6 petite to size 14 petite. I want to own a villa in Italy. First I'd like to visit Italy. I want people on the Muni to be banned from speaking prior to 8am. & breathing, for that matter. I wish I didn't have such an amazing sense of smell & did have better hearing...What? What? I wonder how my crap is doing in storage? I wonder if my dolls have melted like my candles did? I wonder how my couch is? I want to win the mega millions. I wish I didn't have allergies. I need to stop wishing. I wonder if Grace White is still stealing peoples jokes? Who cares, I mean, really. I need to start calling people back. I'm alive people & about to have a traction device delivered to my home. I wonder how much that will cost? erghhh. Labels: rant-what else? .: posted by Jane Barbone 4:15 PM Thursday, December 08, 2005 I got a check in the mail..... from Grace White for the 3 days I worked the Reno gig. This chanting is working, I'm telling you. Thank you Grace. I had every confidence that you are a respectable business person. Sorry you found it intolerable to work with me but I wasn't thrilled about being told not to do a joke (one involving a punchline referring to a pelt) only to have you do one about your dad having a pelt. Ahhhhhh, these things all have a way of working themselves out. Every comic who knows my act, knows that joke & some even who it's about (shhhh-Howard) so it's not like if you do it in front of any of them, they won't know you 'borrowed' it. Once again, I thank you for paying me. I wish you continued success w/ your ladies group of comics that of course was 'your idea'. I'm thinking of starting my own group but instead of No 'Y' Chromosome Comedy as was the original plan, I might call it "Chicks Who Whip Comedy Ass". Of course, I'll have all the edgiest female potty mouths I can find to work it. Middle America loves that crap. We won't be doing any elder care homes. Although my friend Elaine's dad is nearly 70 y/o & thinks I'm hysterical when I get really vulgar but as Tony Sparks always says, "Comedy is subjective." .: posted by Jane Barbone 3:39 AM Tuesday, November 29, 2005 LIME GREEN When did that become a neutral color? If I see one more makeover show where they paint the walls lime green I'm going to puke. Am I the only person having flashbacks of the 70's & that horrid drab olive-ish green color that everyone; including my mother painted their walls & bought appliances in? I'm not a vanilla kind of lady but it makes me want to paint every single thing in my apartment white. I couldn't believe Joy Behar could keep her composure & not blurt out how putrid that room looked on the View today. Joy...who is censoring you? I know they paid for it but can you say UGLY? & you know those chicks were lying thru their teeth about loving the room. Looked to me like they were thinking, "Where's all our SHOES & SH--?" Kind of felt bad for Meredith but on my trip to NY, I got ripped off to the tune of $100 for the nut game. Yes, & then the rocket scientist I was there w/, who watched me throw my money in, said, "I read about that scam in the tour book." Thanks for telling me after the fact. I still harbor resentment from that. but I'm from Jersey, we enjoy harboring resentment. I jest. & in Vegas, I went to my ATM & it had been shut down & some guy came up & gave me a sob story about his car breaking down & needing $20 & actually escorted me to a nearby 7-11 & stood there while I took the $20 out of my ATM for him. I think the cashier was in on it since he watched as I gave him a look of "HELP ME". It was a dark bank parking lot. The next day at Caesars I remember Steve Bushy reading me the riot act for doing that. He'd gone to same bank & got the same story & told the guy to hit the road or offered him to help fix his tire. Steve has an easy 100lbs on me. He could offer to help fix the guys tire. It was worth the $20 to not get accosted. .: posted by Jane Barbone 6:24 AM Saturday, November 26, 2005 Mincemeat A rich, spicy preserve made of fruit (usually chopped cherries, dried apricots, apples or pears, raisins and candied citrus peel), nuts, beef suet, various spices and brandy or rum. Old-time mincemeats included minced, cooked lean meat (usually beef) hence the name. Most modern versions do not use meat. The ingredients are combined, then covered and allowed to mature for a month for the flavors to mingle and mellow. Mincemeat can be used in many dishes including pies, tarts, puddings and cookies. The people from Diane's Turkey dinner will appreciate this. .: posted by Jane Barbone 10:28 PM Friday, November 25, 2005 Happy After Turkey Day Note the time to anyone who heard me confess I don't normally get out of bed until 3pm yesterday at dinner. Diane-I told you, 2 glasses of wine & really- drag me out of the room when I start "crossing boundaries" w/ my topics of conversations. So much for that guy I was trying to impress. I'm finding there's nothing worse then a visual nugget of very personal info spouting from my lips too late for me to stop myself only to have me thinking, "that really was tmi." Oh, well, what's the old saying, "Empty drums beat loudest!" Or maybe I'm just an idiot. Or as my mom has been known to say about me, "Open mouth, switch feet." I am burning off some serious karmic debt in this life. errrrrrrr It's raining outside. I love the smell of the rain after it stops. OH & Diane-do you have any turkey left? My cat hates my cooking & 90% of the canned food on the market but loved your turkey. He does have good taste. Nice to meet everyone. Thanks for saving me $ in therapy & I'll be back on the west coast gigging in 2006, so look for an updated calendar then. .: posted by Jane Barbone 9:43 AM